One Another

Forgive One Another

Ephesians 4:31-32

“Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive.”  C. S. Lewis

2 Aspects of God’s Forgiveness

• Judicial Forgiveness
• Parental Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not… 

• Denying the seriousness or the pain of the offense
• The same as Reconciliation
• The same as rebuilding Trust
• Forgetting

Forgiveness is…

Choosing to release our offender from the obligation for repayment that was created by their offense and to cover the loss ourselves.

Forgiveness is releasing the personal right to payback the one who has hurt me and absorbing the pain with God’s help. The process of forgiving someone can be laced with deep and powerful emotions. The memory of the wound and the offender has the ability to influence our behavior – relationally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Why Must I Learn To Forgive?

1. Because God Has Forgiven Me

When we fail to realize the awesomeness of God’s forgiveness toward us, we tend to be Unforgiving

2. Because Unforgiveness Makes Me Miserable

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” (Matthew 5:7, ESV)

Resentment always hurts you more than the other person!

Forgiveness is not a feeling – Forgiveness is a Choice

“To forgive someone means to let him off the hook, or to cancel a debt he owes you. When you refuse to forgive someone, you still want something from that person, and even if it is revenge you want, it keeps you tied to him forever.” Henry Cloud

Forgiveness sets a prisoner free only to discover that the prisoner was me

3. Because I’m Going To Need Forgiveness Again

“and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12, ESV)

Thinking About Forgiveness

1. Forgiveness has to do with the Past

Forgiveness is not holding something someone has done against him or her. It is letting it go. It only takes one to offer forgiveness. And just as God has offered forgiveness to everyone, we are expected to do the same.  It is refusing to seek vengeance and leaving that with God. (see Matthew 18:35 & Romans 12:19-21).

2. Reconciliation has to do with the Present

It occurs when the other person apologizes and accepts forgiveness. It takes two to reconcile.

3. Trust has to do with the Future

It deals with both what you will risk happening again and what you will open yourself up to. A person must show through his actions that he is trustworthy before you trust him again (see Matthew 3:8).

Three Aspects Of Forgiveness

1. Upward:Embracing divine forgiveness

2. Inward:Granting inward forgiveness

“Attitudinal Forgiveness”

3. Outward:Forging a reconciled relationship

“Transactional Forgiveness”

Moving Forward With Forgiveness

• Acknowledge the debt and the hurt
• Grieve it
• Release it to God
• Process the pain
• Move forward appropriately
• Recognize that it is a journey that may require time and outside resources

Two Inner Resources The Gospel Gives To Us To Enable Us To Forgive One Another

1. Realistic Humility about our own sin

2. Joyful Assurance of our own acceptance in Christ

Questions To Consider:

• Have I personally received God’s forgiveness by repenting of my sin and placing my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as the forgiver of my sin and the rightful leader and Lord of my life?

• How have I typically dealt with the hurt and pain that have come from the actions of other people in my life?

• Who are the people in my life that God wants me to forgive? This may or may not include reconciliation.  What is one specific step I will take?

• Spend time reviewing the teaching above. Begin making any adjustments that you sense God is directing you to begin to live out in your life and relationships.

Ready to take your Next Step?

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